Freaking out a bit

Responsibility, being the one in charge, having it all fall on us scares me. Now it is possibly the lack of sleep and hormones are making me freak out. The thing is the house just needs a coat of paint and our stuff and it will feel like ours. Boomer keeps saying we have done this moving thing half a dozen times why is this different. I don’t know.

We just need to get in there, and start making it ours. We need to be in the house with our stuff, cook and get the all present smell of onions and garlic in there. Have out pictures on the walls not just the shadow of their pictures. Our stupid small tube tv and chest freezer in there. Once the piles of mail and random stuff starts accumulating on all flat surfaces of the kitchen it will feel like us.

The house didn’t seem to have any flaws when the owners stuff was in there. Once the stuff is gone, you see the little cracks, spaces, imperfections that happens over 30 some years of a house. The inside just needs a good cleaning and a coat of paint, then we can make it ours.

We have 3 doors to the house and 12 keys. Lots of light switches. Cold and warm makes the house shift and change. There are spaces that are normal. But every place we have lived (except of the Spokane house) has always had a fresh coat of paint. When we leave here, I am sure all the imperfections and marks will be just a obvious. This anxiety will slip away and other worries will fill in those cracks and gaps…where to plant my strawberries or placement of the compost pile.

After the paint, I might beg my mom to make some simple curtain/drapes. The light that hangs in the bathroom needs to be changed out but not sure to what. If that one that is there had a name it would be AWKWARD. Pink carpet room wold be a major change but that can wait.